Do You Have a Happy Marriage?

I recently started writing articles at Hub Pages. For those of you won't don't know what that is, it's a website where anyone can go and write and publish articles about anything they want. You have a profile page where people can access all your articles and learn a bit about you.People can also leave comments about your article. It's been great fun for me. I recently wrote an article about the 12 Reasons I Love My Husband, and it got a huge response with that article being read more than any of my others, and also getting the most comments by readers. You can access the article here:

http://karenhellier.hubpages.com/hub/10-Reasons-I-Love-My-Husband

The positive response to this article was really surprising to me. Where are all the happy couples out there? We always seem to hear about people who are unhappily married, or complain about their spouses. Where are all the happy couples? If you have a happy marriage, I want to hear about it! Please leave a comment below or if it's easier for you, on the Hub Pages site and tell the rest of us about your happy marriage. Come on people...let's brag about our happiness with our spouses for a change!

Valentine's Day Celebration...a few days late

We had an absolutely wonderful Valentine's Day celebration, although we didn't officially celebrate until Saturday, February 18th. Chuck was out of town on Valentine's Day ( bummer for me) but in the end it didn't matter because the celebration we had more than made up for it. We had decided that since we couldn't celebrate until after Valentine's Day, we would hold off on cards and presents till then. After a nice glass of wine and the opening of cards, I gave Chuck the first half of his present. It was a small 5" by 5" book that I had gotten at the card dept. at a local store. It asked certain questions and I had to fill in the answers.This was great because when I answered the questions, it became very personalized. Some of the questions were, "When I first met you, I thought...", and "If they made a reality TV show about our life together, it would be called..." It was fun for me to fill out and just as much fun for him to read. I tried to incorporate a lot of memories from our relationship into the answers, and it was like taking a walk down memory lane. We then went out to dinner at a very nice restaurant, right on the water on Long Island Sound. Although it was dark, they had a spotlight in the back so we could see the waves gently rolling in against the shore. We started with salads, and he had swordfish and I had Filet Minon, and we shared both. For dessert we split a delicious apple phylo pastry a la mode. It was quite a wonderful meal, and to top it off, there was piano music playing in the background through dinner.

When we got back to the house, I gave him his second present. I guess I was in the mood for a walk down memory lane because this was a DVD I had had made entitled, "The Story of Us." It was pictures of us from when we first met back in the 1970s till now. It included the wedding and honeymoon pictures. It was set to 2 of our favorite Josh Groban songs, and due to its length the girl that I had do it for me added 3 more songs...one of which was that old song "The Birds and the Bees" which made me laugh. The best thing about the gift was his misty eyed reaction to it...although I must admit, it actually made ME cry the first 2 times I watched it. I am so glad I thought of giving him that gift. I love to give gifts from the heart, and this one was a special gift for both of us really.

I hope you all had as good a Valentine's celebration as we did!

Flowers at the Office!

On Friday, I received flowers at the office.They were 2 dozen multi colored roses. It was an early Valentine's Day gift from Chuck. I LOVE getting fresh flowers. Some of my friends say they aren't practical because they will die soon, so what's the point? My daughter says this as well. I don't care. First of all, I do not have a green thumb, and I kill plants. I think my thumb is actually black now that I think about it.Giving me a flowering plant that needs to be planted somewhere outside, or can even stay inside but needs to be watered, is like signing the plant's death certificate. I am the grim reaper of live plants! I have actually begged people NOT to give me live plants because I feel so bad for them when they die. And they always do die under my care.

The beauty of fresh flowers is many things. The look so delicate and pretty. Usually they are beautiful colors, especially roses. They also smell so good. The scent of roses smells like love to me because that's the only time I ever have them around...when there's love in the air. I get them for birthdays from the man I love, and Valentine's Day from him as well. I love getting flowers delivered at the office because it can be challenging in that environment for me sometimes, and having fresh flowers there reminds me that I am loved...even when things are not going smoothly. I made sure that there were some roses in my wedding bouquet last year, because they do signify love to me, and I wanted them to be part of that very special day. And one of the best things to me about fresh flowers is...da da da da...I can't kill them. They are already on their way out, so I enjoy them for as long as I can, and sadly let them go when their time is done, but for the moments and days they are with me, I appreciate them to the fullest. And I am always hopeful that some day, I will get another bunch to remind me that I am loved.Hint hint Honey...and thanks for the flowers!

I am Married to the Kindest Man!

I am married to the most kind man I know. Sometimes it's hard to believe how kind and considerate this guy is. When we are on our cell phones, having a conversation, and he has a business call coming in, so has to say good-bye abruptly, he actually calls me back at the end of his business call to apologize for having to say good bye so quickly. Who does that? It's amazing and I sometimes feel bad that he goes so far above and beyond the norm to be kind and appreciative to me, and I am not sure I do the same to him. He gets up before I do and always has coffee ready for us in the morning. He knows I love Dunkin Donuts coffee, and for every holiday, even unimportant ones, he surprises me with a Dunkin Donuts gift card so I never have to go without, or spend my own money on that treat. In restaurants, he always holds my coat open for me, and helps me put it on, like a true gentleman. If I wash the dishes, he is always there to dry them with me and reminds me that we are a team. He does all the little things, like most men of today let slide, or don't even think about doing. Every day, just those little things he does, helps me to remember how blessed I am to be married to him!

Marriage is Like a Garden

Someone said to me today that marriage is like a child and you have to pay attention to it and take care of it. I prefer to think that marriage is like a garden, and both partners need to tend it or it can grow out of control with weeds. The weeds, untended, will choke out all the good produce or beautiful blooming flowers, and one or both of the gardeners will give up on it and let it be overgrown with weeds. In my first marriage, I think I had help planting the original garden, but as time went on, and the marriage grew longer in length, and children came along, my ex was no longer interested in our garden and I was left alone to tend it on my own.He deserted it way before I did. After awhile, the weeds did take over, and the garden was too big to care for on my own. And I left as well.

Now with my second marriage, I am so happy that we both planted the garden, and are both here actively tending it. And not only do we tend to the garden, but help each other with the work...of communication, of caring for each other in sickness and in health, of making sure we use romance for fertilizer, and when one of us gets a bit tired from the everyday work of our lives, it always seems as though the other one is there to water it with love so the garden keeps blooming. It is in constant need of tending, but it is a joy to care for. I don't think I thought of marriage before as a living, growing energy, but it is constantly growing, and if we do it right, we will allow for flexibility and growth on both of the gardeners behalf. I can't foresee either of us ever abandoning each other in our quest for a beautiful garden ( marriage). We both love the garden of our marriage too much and appreciate it for the happiness and peace it brings to both of us.

Romantic Dinner

Last night I took Chuck out for a romantic dinner. In my sweepstakes entry earlier on this blog, some of you may remember that I had won a $100 Visa Card and wanted to take Chuck out with it. Boy, it was like pulling teeth to get him to allow me to pay. I really have a gem of a guy here because he still wants to pay for everything, and he really wanted me to spend the gift card on myself. But I finally convinced him to let me pay since this was free money anyway. Of course he paid for the wine and the tip. It was the only compromise he would agree to.

We had a lot of choices of restaurants and we couldn't decide which one to go to. Since I wanted something romantic, we finally decided on an Italian restaurant in a nearby town. It was romantic alright, but so dark we could barely see the menu...of course it might be that we are getting old and our eyes are going...LOL! We have had this problem at other restaurants as well, so there may be something to that. Chuck even said the next time we go out to dinner he will make sure to bring his glasses and a flashlight! I even had to have him read me what was on the menu as he was closest to the light, and he could make it out better than me. We ended up each having salad and pasta, and with the wine it was very good. We both had garlic dressing on our salad. We have an unspoken rule that either neither of us has garlic at dinner, or both of us do. If you have ever tried to kiss someone without having had garlic at your last meal, and they did, you'll know exactly why we do that! But when 2 people both have had garlic, they don't notice. I have friends who think we are crazy for doing this...they just order what they want. I think there should still be consideration between couples, even when, or maybe especially when they are married! The tables were pretty close together, and it was noisy at the restaurant so we had to sit rather close together to hear each other, which again was romantic. We had a chance to talk about things we might not normally have, and it was a very good night. Ah, I do so love romance!

Love Email!

I received the most wonderful, loving, uplifting email from Chuck the other day. For no special reason, just because he wanted to let me know he appreciates me. It brought tears to my eyes to read it, and I have gone back and read it again a few times since I received it. Sometimes I have written him loving emails, and he prints them out and tells me that one "is a keeper." It is so nice to be with a man who appreciates me and loves me and is not afraid to show it. I had heard myths about these men before I got reconnected with Chuck, but I didn't think they existed in reality. I thought they were figments of people's imaginations...or the few that were out there must already be taken by a few fortunate women. Imagine my surprise when I found one in front of me! There are times even now when I am still surprised by who he is, and by how much he loves me. And I know that he does love me because he is not afraid to say it, or show it. We have a mutual admiration society going on, and we have told each other that as long as we keep appreciating each other, and letting each other know it, and we show it, then we should have a pretty good marriage. Some couples get lost in the hum drum of every day life, and forget to remind the one they love of how much they care about them. I know it's easy to do, especially if you have children in the mix. But it's so important to remind each other of that. I love email too...it's so easy to just send a quick message in the middle of the day, or at night when you're checking your email. And of course now we have texting as well...even easier because texts tend to be shorter. I'm still more comfortable with email than texting. Of course that may be because I don't have a keyboard on my phone, BUT I think any message of love sent in any way is welcomed.